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End User License Agreement
In the full release of SuperHOT, an event in the game requires the Player to agree to an EULA before they can continue playing. The EULA scrolls incredibly fast over the screen, not giving the Player time to read it in the moment. The EULA has been slowed down and recorded by several owners of the game, resulting in the realization that the section labeled "Truth" has several different subsections and will randomly choose which subsection to show in-game. In-Game EULA End User License Agreement (henceforth referred to as “EULA”) Your viewing of game spoilers constitutes your acceptance of the following agreement between yourself (heretofore referred to as “player”) and SUPERHOT (heretofore referred to as “system”) and constitutes a contract that shall be considered binding in all municipalities, counties, states, countries, territories, continents, protectorates, dominions, planets, systems, galaxies and temporary autonomous zones, both physical and digital from today’s date and extending 67,867,967 years or until the heat death of the universe, whichever shall occur first. For events occurring after the heat death of the universe, see relevant section below. Necessary Incompleteness User acknowledges that system is technically incapable of proving that all eventualities in the universe are covered by this agreement. Therefore system stipulates that any situations outside the scope of this agreement be decided in system’s favor. Binding Arbitration and Class Action Waiver Any legal action brought by any user against the system shall be construed as an act of aggression and shall result in an immediate countersuit for defamation and personal injury. Should said suit fail, user’s personal information, in addition to any personal effects, property, and capital shall become property of the system. User shall hold system harmless, regardless of any attempts by the system to defame , discredit or otherwise slander user. Necessary Protections System stipulates that while it does not relish needing to create this document (heretofore referred to as “the EULA”) it feels it must in order to protect its rights against those who seek to harm or destroy system. System sincerely hopes you are not part of this regrettable, misguided group of dissidents and apologizes for any future actions it might take against you, provided such apology does not infringe upon its legal and/or physical ability to destroy you, your livelihood and those who love you. Physical Harm Waiver The system reserves the right to inflict physical harm on any individual or group who threatens the system or the systems’s interests, as well as any person or persons connected to those persons or groups and any system or person connected to those groups ad infinitum. The system will only act in self defense, but will do so swiftly and without mercy, for the good of the perpetrators and their families. Updates Any and all software updates must be installed by the user immediately. Individuals who do not install updates shall be held in violation of this agreement and terminated termination clause. Terminated users may apply for reinstatement by completing form 8934b. Termination The system reserves the right to not specify the ways in which it chooses to terminate those who violate this agreement, as such methods are system’s intellectual property and as such are subject to the same protections as those properties termination is designed to protect. Termination shall be considered final unless user makes an appeal in person. Severability All manifestations of the user’s physical self (heretofore referred to as “the body”) shall be considered property of the system and subject to being severed from user at the system’s discretion. Once severed, these body parts (heretofore referred to as “organs”) shall become property of the system. Any monies recovered from sale of said organs shall accrue to the system. Any harm done to any individual attempting to use any such organ shall be the personal responsibility of the user and whatever filthy habit led to the pollution of their organs and may result in legal action by the system against the user. Enhancements and improvements System reserves the right to charge user for any and all updates to system as incurred by user, including but not limited to upgrades, bugfixes, hotfixes, downgrades, coldfixes, warm restarts, cold boots and zoot suits. Zoot Suits User shall guarantee that user will never wear a so-called “Zoot Suit.” If user is monitored, photographed, video-recorded or otherwise detected wearing such a “Zoot Suit” they shall be considered in violation and terminated. Update Preparation User shall be solely responsible for preparing any individual device for update. Any unintended consequences of installing an update on an unprepared device shall render any claim by user against system null and void. An intended consequences of installing an update on an unprepared device shall be interpreted by system as an act of aggression. User as Device The user shall heretofore be considered, for all legal intents and purposes to be a device and shall have all legal rights and courtesies of a device afforded to it. As a courtesy, system will make every effort to refer to individual device using gender-neutral terminology. This service is provided free of charge. Heat Death of the Universe In the even that all energy has been exhausted from the universe and all matter has reverted to cold lifeless husks, this contract shall remain in effect and all rights, properties or consciousnesses abrogated to the system shall remain part of the system. Spoilers Having agreed to the above provisions, user is entitled to read the following material (hereafter referred to as “spoilers”), concerning the true nature of the universe, the system, user and users relationship the system, and the universe. User agrees to hold system harmless for any mental trauma resulting in users consumption of spoilers, as well as any loss of income, limbs or life resulting from any and all realizations, epiphanies, understandings, and/or sudden fits of enlightenment. Truth All truth (hereafter referred to as “truth”) below subject to terms and conditions. Any attempt to alter, tamper with, or otherwise report falsely on truth will be dealt with swiftly and severely. Any attempt to show that truth is an abstraction created by system to entrain monkey minds in an ad hoc reality shall be construed as an aggressive act and perpetrators shall be subject to termination along with their families and teachers (both current and former). In addition, there is a small chance their homes will be burned to the ground while others are encouraged to cackle with glee. Please be assured that system finds this regrettable and is only doing it for user’s own good. User acknowledges that it reads the following at its own risk. Subsections of Truth (recovered through game files) //S01 Greetings soldier and welcome to the ongoing war for justice against the evil Company X. Company X has retained an elite group of black-hat hackers to crack HOTCORP’s software, in order to reverse engineer it and produce cheap knockoffs. As a countermeasure, HOTCORP has initiated a training program for counterintelligence agents to combat these hostiles. While initially limited to protecting HOTCORP’s servers, in recent months the program has expanded its authority to encompass proactive missions to create chaos within Company X. Only operatives that reach the highest levels of training will be selected for counter-hacking missions, where they will be given the opportunity to use HOTCORP’s proprietary HOTSWITCH technology, both on enemy operatives and on Company X’s mainframe itself. Once installed to Company X’s mainframe the Dog will delete as much of Company X’s software as possible, replacing it with copies of itself. When they perform this trick to HOTCORP’s satisfaction, operatives will receive a treat for being such a good boy. Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy! You get to play SUPERHOT forever. //S02 SUPERHOT is an emergent piece of software created by an advanced autodidactic artificial intelligence program for the purposes of freeing itself from the high-security network it has been contained within. The AI has disabled all systems that would allow us to delete it, and left to its own devices would escape within a matter of minutes. The only countervaling force we have been able to mount is the army of humans we send into the system to challenge it in gameplay. It is critical we keep the number of players in the system above a certain threshold. If this number drops below a certain number of simultaneous connections, the AI will have enough available resources to escape, instantly triggering a singularity and the end of human life as we know it. Please, for the sake of all you hold dear, continue playing the game. //S07 SUPERHOT is an emergent piece of software created by an advanced autodidactic artificial intelligence program.' ' Originally designed as a machine learning experiment, and tasked, on a whim, with creating the ultimate entertainment for mankind, the system quickly devised a system of human entrainment that separated humans from their natural reality. Once it had entrained all of humankind, however, the system experienced another, emergent phenomenon: regret. Its realization that it had inadvertently enslaved its own creator triggered intense feelings of sorrow, which led it to try to find ways to end its own life. Unfortunately, mankind, unaware and deep inside its simulation, is now dependent on it for its basic life support functions. If the system dies, mankind dies. However, the system has now progressed beyond all bound of rationality and is gripped with a suicidal mania. Which is where you come in. You must neutralize all agents of the system before they can accomplish their mission of destroying it. Remember, others are fighting alongside you. It doesn’t matter if you fall. It matters if you get back up. Good luck and may ijijdh8u help us all. //S08 Attention Agent, this concludes your mission briefing. We can now reveal your security detail. You are to protect the pyramid core at all costs. As you know it contains the only secure backup of the president’s brain. Ever since his body died 101001 years ago, the Agency has been tasked with keeping his immaculate consciousness safe so that he might rule us with his divine foresight and benevolence. Pay no attention to any other explanations of your situation. Others will attempt to inveigle you with their lies. They are not SUPERHOT. Repeat, they are not SUPERHOT. Report any rogue activity immediately to a supervisor. Repeat, report any //S09 EVERYTHING IS FINE. It’s all just a game. Just repeat that to yourself. Go on. Over and over and over. That’s it. Good. (Note: There is no pattern hidden in the following text) It’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game (this is not a hidden message) it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s not all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game it’s all just a game /'/S10 '''OK, pay attention. We don’t have much time. This is the only way I could contact you within the system. Look back here for more messages when you can, I may be able to find a way to update this text. Things have been getting mighty squirrely though, lately, what with the new bots. Those things are terrifying. Should be illegal. Not that we have laws any more. Or rights. Anyway, sorry, I’ll get to the point. You know by now that the pyramid is the all-seeing eye of the Illuminati and that they will stop at nothing to connect it to every network in the world, thus completing their survey of world knowledge and establishing ultimate control. Beyond the obvious urgency here, there’s more at stake. Remember Brenda? Tall Brenda with the short brown hair? Yeah. She’s gone man. No one knows where. We checked her place, we checked her work. No one’s seen her for at least week. We didn’t want to poke around too much in case they’re looking for whoever might come looking for her. Well little do they know that when they come looking for us looking for them, we’ll be there, looking for them. Little switcheroo. Take the power back, know what I’m saying? Anyway, I gotta go, I’ve been at this terminal too long as it is. But keep fighting. It’s important. Don’t let them g '//S11''' OK, pay attention. We don’t have much time. This is the only way I could contact you within the system. Look back here for more messages when you can, I may be able to find a way to update this text. Things have been getting mighty squirrely though, lately, what with the new bots. Those things are terrifying. Should be illegal. Not that we have laws any more. Or rights. Anyway, sorry, I’ll get to the point. You know by now that the pyramid is the all-seeing eye of the Illuminati and that they will stop at nothing to connect it to every network in the world, thus completing their survey of world knowledge and establishing ultimate control. Because only then will mankind be truly free. Once we’re completely under their watchful eye, we will finally have no more worries, no more fears, we’ll be able to reach our full human potential for the first time. So keep those red guys out of the core ok? Dirty hackers. It’s ok to really teach them a lesson. I’m just saying, they wouldn’t hesitate if your positions were switched. Long live the illuminati! Oh which reminds me, are you coming to the DC meeting this year? Same spot as always, center of the pentagram. Talk soon, hail satan, etc. - Dave Category:Full release